Remember: There are no stupid questions. Please email me if you have a question that isn’t answered below.

Now for the FAQS 

Why do you blog?

When I was a kid, my older brothers never let me tell a story or state an opinion. They either spoke over me or walked away. I grew up in a household where girls were supposed to be seen and not heard. (I can still remember my mother saying that.)

Hence, I have a desire to tell stories and express opinions, and blogging is a medium where I can do that. At least one of my brothers reads my blog. He recently texted me the following phrases: “…your post is entirely political and personally offensive, which of course it(‘s) intended to be…I’m not sure why you feel the need to expose (? word choice) your personal sanctimonious steam (? stream) of consciousness on your blog, but cest le vie….(It’s) filled with linguistic fallacies and cuss words…”

His text brought a huge smile to my face. So grateful for being an adult with a blog. Thank you.

You’ve mentioned in your posts that you’re a lawyer. Is that true?

Why do you ask? (Sorry, I get paid to answer a question with a question.) Yes. I still practice law under a different name at a national healthcare system. Doesn’t this make you ridiculously curious? I am a mysterious individual (and that’s not even my best quality).

Why do you use a pseudonym?

Alexi Venice is simply my alter ego who isn’t an uptight, er–professional, lawyer who works at a prestigious medical center that deserves our respect. Separation of jobs, my friends.

Are your blog posts true?

My blog posts are real—not just because of the detail—but because this blog is an unauthorized autobiography. My books, like The San Francisco Mystery Series, are fiction. Yes, there’s some real stuff in my books, too, but they’re not technically based on my life. They’re fiction. In the end, I can’t make this shit up, but I can make other shit up, and I do.

Are you funny in person?

Dead serious. Always professional, all the time. However, I have noticed that my tongue has bite marks on it. I’m not going to share how they got there.

I will occasionally pull an office prank at my day job. When a colleague was on a two-week vacation, and our office hallway was being re-wallpapered, I asked the crew to wallpaper over my colleague’s door. (They heartily agreed, never having had so much fun on the job.) They expertly fit a plexiglass sheet in the doorframe with wallpaper on it, making a seamless integration with the wall. They removed his nameplate from the wall, and we slid a chair and end table in front of his old doorway. When he returned from vacation, his office had disappeared. Still weary from jetlag, he was so confused and believed it was gone. He thought he’d been fired. Priceless! Best practical joke at work EVER!

Are your breasts real or supplemented with implants?

Real. I’m sure I’ll still get emails about this even though it’s on my FAQ page. Fine. Email away.

Should people click like and comment on the posts on your blog?

I would love it if you liked and commented on my posts. I read them all and reply to questions when I’m sober.